The Death of “Pop Quiz”

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The Death of “Pop Quiz”...

Answered?!?

Hastur — 71

Lady Die — 69

Burning Bush — 68

Cinder — 66

Senzai — 63

WitKnee — 61

Wolfire — 60

Sisbooomba — 58

Freezer Burn — 58

History

1. Abraham Lincoln vs. Jefferson Davis, best of 3 falls. Who’d do da smackdown?

Answer:  Lincoln.  He was a wrestler before going into politics; pretty good, too, by all accounts.

Best Answers:

Da smackdown would be done by Abraham Lincoln as he was a wrestler befor he was a president.  —  Sisbooomba

My dog Abe was a real tall guy, but JD had some skillz. Abe may have been able to rap his way out, but JD would prolly have cut him off at the knees and driven that stovepipe hat up Abe's ass.  —  Burning Bush

Who the hell is Jefferson Davis? I'd say Jefferson Davis because Abe Linclon's Dead. If in the case that Jefferson Davis is dead too, I would say fuck it, ask me after another beer.  —  LadyDie

~ Dose it really matter? shutting eyes where ever the courser lands. Damn.. guess Old Abe  —  Cinder

Hmm, tough question..but my money is on Abe!  —  Wolfire

Well considering that the north won the civil war and Abraham was pres at that time I would have to go with him. Sides.. he's just cooler lookin.  —  Hastur

Well, Abe was a wrestler, so he'd take the first one easy.  Realizing this, during the second round Robert E. Lee would jump into the ring to distract the ref while Stonewall Jackson nailed Abe from behind with a chair, knocking him down long enough for Davis to pin him.  During the third round, complete pandemonium would erupt as participants from both sides swarmed the ring; by the time it was cleared, Lincoln would have a severe syphalitic attack and be disqualified for medical reasons.  Davis in 3; go Dixie!  —  Freezer Burn

I have found, in my research, that Abraham Lincoln and Jefferson Davis appear to be the same exact person. It is my belief that twin, Herbert Lincoln, was so resentful of his brother's success that he joined the confederacy out of pure spite. The name change was due to the fact that he had this bizarre tick in his face (probably a result of not eating his vegetables as a boy) and people kept calling him "Winkin' Lincoln". ANYWAYS, back to the question, best out of three? Depends on situation. I think that if it were a battle of wits such as "Rock, Paper, Scissors" Honest Abe would have gone down. I mean, he's honest. You gotta be ruthless to win at that game. If it were something more of sheer determination and power, such as "Thumb War" I think Abe would definitely overpower Davis... He's got the height advantage (I'll bet HE ate all his vegetables).  —  WitKnee

Lincoln, no questions asked.  —  Senzai

Jeff Davis. Lincoln was too gangly.  —  Dyna Charcoal

Lincoln, that boy was the first in the wwf. He would lay da smackdown.  —  Flamedyomom

Lincon, kicks southern butt  —  Snooples 

Lincoln was a bookworm, so it goes to Davis - West Point Grad. "he was distinguished in his corps for manly bearing and high-toned and lofty character. His figure was very soldierlike and rather robust; his step springy, resembling the tread of an Indian 'brave' on the war-path."  —  Velfire

Abe. Hey, he was born in a log cabin he built himself. Now that's tough! — Taotejay

2. What does “kamikazi” mean in Japanese?

Answer:   “kami” = “Divine” + “kaze” = “Wind.”  So named for a miraculous typhoon that sunk the invading Mongol fleet in 1281, saving Japan from conquest.  It was hoped, some 700 years later, that suicidal pilots would perform a similar feat.  (the word in misspelled in the question, an unintentional typo.  Flax for noticing.)

Best Answers:  

"kamikazi" means "devine wind".  —  Sisbooomba

well first of all, it's spelled with an 'e' at the end. secondly, it means "ankle grab and keep good hold on steering reel this aint a catarac" literally interpreted. which translates into english as watch out there's an asian in the next lane over.  —  LadyDie

~ die for the cause? die with dignity going to a better place?  —  Cinder

Umm..ask Souly??..hehehehehehe  —  Wolfire

Well, since I was wrong last night, I went and looked it up and I think it means Devine Wind.  —  Hastur

transliteration of "why is this a 1-way map?".  —  Freezer Burn

I may not know karate, but I know KaRAZY! Let's break it down. The Root, "Kami" OBVIOUSLY means One who flies plane into ground. The ending "kazi" simply means, crazy man. Put them together and you have a rough translation of "crazy man who flies plane into ground"  —  WitKnee

I believe the direct translation is: "ka": I ; "mi": am ; "kazi": stupid.  "Kazi" also has another meaning: one drunk, pissed off Japanese man, who did not get any titty from Mommy during nursing.  —  Senzai

"f'd up"  —  Dyna Charcoal

Pretty Breeze. Or something. Stupid Shits in engilsh.  —  Flamedyomom

I don't know how to land  —  Snooples 

"divine wind"  —  Velfire

Hey, where's the ejection seat?! — Taotejay

bartending bonus: what are the ingredients of a kamikazi?

Answer:  1 shot vodka, 1 shot triple sec, a tablespoon of lime juice.  Some bartenders also add orange juice, or use Absolut Citron.  (again with the typo; shade was slipping)

Best Answers:

and the ingredients of the drink are booze.....after one or two of them you don't give a damn what they arae made
of!  —  Sisbooomba

vodka or gin (preference) 
triple sec
tonic water 
and a squirt of lime  —  LadyDie

~ LOL of course different spelling, but here "Kamikaze" :~) 2 oz. vodka, 2oz. triple sec, 2oz. lime juice, 

Ok heres a "kamikaze shooter" :~) 2oz. vodka, 1oz. triple sec, 1oz. lime juice... 

How about a screaming Orgasm. ( kind i like ) :~O 1shot of Baileys, 1 shot of vodka, 1 shot of Kahlua, pour in order. vodka, baileys, Kahlua over crushed ice. 

or how about you males that love "tight snatch" 1 shot of schnapps, one shot Bum opps meant to say Rum, in a glass of pineapple juice..  —  Cinder

There are 2 kinds whitch one did you want, hell I will give you them both!: 

Stemmed cocktail, chill ¾ oz Vodka ¾ oz Triple Sec 2 oz sweet/sour Shooter glass, chill 

¾ oz Vodka ¾ oz Triple Sec Roses Lime Juice  —  Wolfire

definately Tequila... ok maybe not. Well it has vodka, triple sec and lime juice in it :)  —  Hastur

vodka, triplesec, lime juice.  I hear Shade adds a jigger f barbecue sauce, too.  —  Freezer Burn

Seeing as I am NOT a bartender nor do I ever wish to be, I'd have to say Double shot of Black Velvet, a touch of gin, little rum, some sushi flavoring, and just a pinch of cyanide for punch  —  WitKnee

1 part vodka, 1 part tripple sec, 1 part Rose's titty juice.  —  Senzai

a little of everything.  —  Dyna Charcoal

um..one part malt. One part tecquila. two parts acid.  —  Flamedyomom

sake, with a splash  —  Snooples 

ice, vodka, triple sec, lime juice, and lime.  —  Velfire

Vodka, Triple Sec, 7 in 7, lemon juice. — Taotejay

3.  Name someone famous who’s Welsh.

Answer:  Among famous native Welsh there are Richard Burton, Robert Plant, Roald Dahl, Dr. John Dee, T.E. Lawrence (of Arabia), Graham Chapman, and Terry Jones.   Americans of Welsh descent include Thomas Jefferson (who spoke Welsh Gælic fluently),  Abraham Lincoln, Davey Crockett, Jack Daniel (of the whiskey fame), Bob Hope, and Richard Nixon.  saint, shade, and Evil Matt should also immediately come to mind.  Bob Marley’s father was Welsh.  A more comprehensive list can be found at http://web.ukonline.co.uk/members/its-welsh/index.htm

Best Answers:

Famous Welsh people are Dylon Thomas and Tom Jones (the singer, not the fictional character)  —  Sisbooomba

Welsh's Grape Jelly  —  Burning Bush

Lady Di  —  LadyDie

~ Matthew Thomas Farrel  —  Cinder

Princess Diana  —  Wolfire

Jay and Michael Aston (who?) the guy that was on my desktop with the red hair is from Wales (sp?) and he's famous. He and his brother were the lead singers for a big 80's band called Gene Loves Jezebel.  —  Hastur

Wales has no famous people, though Shade is infamous.  (I feel my flax fading away as I type that.)  —  Freezer Burn

We all know the Welsh are a band of heathens that roam the vast prairies of Southern Albania tormenting random cows and picking flowers from the gardens of innocent victims... a famous Welsh? I think not...  —  WitKnee

Catherine Zeta Jones (I'd like to have one part of her titty juice in my Kamikazi please)  Not to mention our favorite canabal:  Anthony Hopkins and that crazy piano dude:  Victor Borge  —  Senzai

Dylan Thomas.  —  Dyna Charcoal

Lincoln i think. richard burton.  —  Flamedyomom

lawrence welk  —  Snooples 

the grape juice maker.  —  Velfire

Doug Llewellyn, that guy that interviewed people after they saw Judge Wopner — Taotejay

Math

1. If a Right Angle is 90 degrees, what is a Wrong Angle?

Answer:  361°

Best Answers:

A Wrong Angle is  the perspective of anyone who disagrees with you times the degree with which you dislike that person.  —  Sisbooomba

the other one.  —  Burning Bush

361 degrees  —  LadyDie

~ having legs crossed? LOL, no there is none.  —  Cinder

hahahaha..the oppisite..negitive 90 degrees!  —  Wolfire

um -90 degrees?  —  Hastur

91 to 180.  Any angle that obtuse HAS to be wrong.  —  Freezer Burn

DUH, based on my calculations, if a right angle is 90 degrees then a wrong angle is OBVIOUSLY (ƒ3.95847/76.38294X^2)+(-3 +5/896) degrees. Come on... jeesh... challenge me already.  —  WitKnee

The angle from the fourth floor window of the Books Depository Building down the street from the grassy gnoll, to the passing car.  —  Senzai

You're asking for a bitch-slappin'.  —  Dyna Charcoal

361 - Tony hawk missed a wrong angled ollie by this much!  —  Flamedyomom

90 degrees celsius  —  Snooples 

any angle that doesn't answer this question correctly  —  Velfire

Obtuse — Taotejay

2. How much is that doggie in the window (the one with the waggily tail?)

Answer:  $6.66 (or 6.66 # of Flax)  Buy the beast & you’ll see why!

Best Answers:

No Matthew, you can not have a dog...I know this is a trick question.....stick to hedgehogs  —  Sisbooomba

um, dude, that's not a dog... RUN!  —  Burning Bush

~ Free  —  Cinder

Sorry he is not for sale!  —  Wolfire

65 dollars.... but I would suggest you stay away from dogs. I let someone talk me into the damn things.. and now I'm cursed with one.. complete with waggaly tail. And I don't see how this has anything to do with math!  —  Hastur

I don't think the song actually says, and Napster's down, so I can't check. I'll just say a ton of flax. —  Freezer Burn

Roughly $54.87, but I'll give him to ya for a quater.... he's a horrible, yippy thing...  —  WitKnee

boom...p'chicka-boom, boom...p'chicka-boom, boom...p'chicka-boom, ratitty-tattity-boom, boom...  —  Senzai

Woof woof!  —  Dyna Charcoal

$7.23 (number forty two reference, again. gimme mah points)  —  Flamedyomom

if you have to ask...  —  Snooples 

more than your mom  —  Velfire

42 dollars — Taotejay

3.  How many canary cages can you line with one paperback copy of The Fountainhead?

Answer:  only one: the canary would instantly shit all over it (can you blame it?!?) causing you to redo the bottom; this vicious circle would continue until you ran out of pages.

Best Answers:

You can line the same number of canary cages with one copy of The Fountainhead as you can  with a copy of Atlas Shrugged.  —  Sisbooomba

[shade’s peshar: this is technically true, for the same reason given in the “correct” answer.]

Sorry, I threw my copy out years ago.  —  Burning Bush

~ummmmmm many  —  Cinder

Why don't you get a real math question!  —  Hastur

Too many  —  Freezer Burn

Canaries are terrible, filth creatures that deserve to languish in their own stench... I'll never forgive them for what they did to my poor Uncle Jay...  —  WitKnee

I am sick of your incessent badgering of Ayn Rand. Get over it!  Look; she did not get any titty either, and she is pissed about it, but at least she is envisioning a better place, where all people get titty from a loving mother.  —  Senzai

You really shouldn't use "The Fountainhead." Those poor canaries will burst their sphincters trying to keep their shit in.  —  Dyna Charcoal

One. The bird keeps shitting on it, for obvious reasons. It loosens bowels.  —  Flamedyomom

one, the canary will object  —  Snooples 

lots - but no one would want to try. see sluggy freelance for details - but i can't find the comic i want... a ferret gets possessed by the soul of the writer and gets constipated, then someone proves to the ghost of rand she can't exist.  so uh... neither can canaries.  —  Velfire

As many as you want! — Taotejay

Science

1. What is the ideal Space Modulator to use if the Earth is obstructing your view of Venus?

Answer: Illudium Q-36 (per Marvin the Martian)  “The Space Modulator!  That creature has stolen the Space Modulator! Oh, delays, delays...”

Best Answers:

The Earth itself would be the best space modulator for an unobstructed view of Venus by Earth,as your view of Venus could only be obstructed by Earth if you were not on Earth when you were looking at Venus (perhaps on the moon), so the only way to remove Earth as the obstructor of your view of Venus is to move your location from outside the Earth to the Earth itself.Of course this does not rule out portions of the Earth (trees,buildings,fat people) from obstructing your view of Venus unless you start your viewing from the tallest place on Earth, and making sure noone taller is standing in front of you, you gaze in the direction of Venus.  —  Sisbooomba

Illudium P-36 Explosive Space Modulator  —  Burning Bush

several more beers, some rohypnol, and a few hours of sleep. it'll probably be within view when you arise. if not, you probably won't care much anyway.  —  LadyDie

Satellite????  —  Wolfire

I will have to check with Marvin on that. I think he was building one.  —  Hastur

The Hubble Scope, or any other space modulator built by NASA for a couple billion.  —  Freezer Burn

I would go with the HSL-7935 model by Alpha2 for the best results on Venus. However, if Earth is obstructing the view of Uranus, that's a completely different story... (sorry, I had to get one good Uranus joke in there) (Did you know that right now gravity is actually pulling me towards Uranus? hehehe... I never get sick of telling people that...)  —  WitKnee

An ion cannon, or one squirt from God's titty, ya...God is a woman.  Yum.  —  Senzai

Earth.  —  Flamedyomom

look up, not down  —  Snooples 

immodium Q, or something like that... but my spelling may be off - and i know immodium AD works for something, but thats if klingons are obstructing your view of uranus.  —  Velfire

Q36 (or PU36) — Taotejay

2. What mammal has the most nipples?

Answer:  The Tenrec (Centetes Ecaudatus), a hedgehog-like insectivore native to Madagascar, averaging 22 to 24 nipples.  [click here for a pic]

Best Answers:  

The mammal with the most nipples is Dolly Parton....her chest size is commonly thought to be her mammary tissue, but in reality she only has 2 onces of fat tissue and the rest is ALL nipple.  —  Sisbooomba

Pig  —  Burning Bush

An illegal Mexican immigrant housewife... you mean the kind of nipples on bottles, right?  —  LadyDie

~ Madagascar Hedgehog?  —  Cinder

Hmm, I dont know..  —  Wolfire

that hedgehog thing.. i forgot what its called, but you had a pic of it in one of the updates.  —  Hastur

The blonde wench in the whipped cream scene of Debbie Does Dallas part 500  —  Freezer Burn

I believe that it would be the Australian Opossum clocking in with 30 nipples. Any more than that is more than I want to think about.  —  WitKnee

I don't know, but all that titty smack is making me thirsty!  Slurp, suck, slurp.  —  Senzai

I do. (Wanna see?)  —  Dyna Charcoal

Punkupines. All pierced.  —  Flamedyomom

baywatch  —  Snooples 

the 85 nippled amazon nipple monkey. its nippletastic!  —  Velfire

I'll just bet it's a hedgehog — Taotejay

3. What’s that smell?!?

Answer:  Vanilla (unless FireSkunk is involved; then it’s peaches)

Best Answers:

I didn't do it!  —  Sisbooomba

I just shit my drawers.  —  LadyDie

~ sex and candy  —  Cinder

barbeque sauce!!!  —  Wolfire

That would be the cat.  —  Hastur

Napalm in the morning, so it must be "victory"  —  Freezer Burn

God, I don't know... I really think something came in here, emitted fowl fluids from every orafise, and then died....  —  WitKnee

If there wasn't so much titty gum up my nose, I'd say that was the sweetest of herbal insense: Canibus Sativa  —  Senzai

Oh, it's just the delectable odor of General Tso's Chicken I'm having for lunch (really!)  —  Dyna Charcoal

::eyes shift:: Fiiidddooo.!  —  Flamedyomom

you  —  Snooples 

evil.  —  Velfire

Hey, he who smelt it dealt it! — Taotejay

Literature

1. Name a book that has been banned within your lifetime.

Answer:  Anything written by shade.  Outside of obscurum, Hastur was nice enough to supply a link to this very matter: http://www.cs.cmu.edu/Web/People/spok/most-banned.html .  Not listed on it is the most popular answer given, “The Anarchist Cookbook.”  I researched this matter for Quiz purposes, and found it was not officially banned.  Although almost all major bookstores refused to carry it, which may be considered “banning,” it is available through mail order (Koresh got his copy this way) and is even on-line.  Most “real” anarchists deride it as poorly written and unreliable, as it is generally accepted that many of the drug ingredients will poison you and the explosives recipes are notorious for detonating during concoction.  Because of this, there is a wide-spread belief that the book is deliberate CIA misinformation, which accounts for its not being officially banned, in the United States at least.  [I’m sure I will get a flood of email proving me wrong on this; I encourage it.]

Best Answers:

The book "Huckleberry Finn" was banned from our middleschool library......I swear to Gawd....(this is the bible belt pal).  —  Sisbooomba

Anarchist's cookbook  —  LadyDie

~Ulysses  —  Cinder

http://www.cs.cmu.edu/Web/People/spok/most-banned.html 

This is a list of the most banned books of the 90's. Looking at this list I am very shocked. I have read some of those books and I find it very distressing that someone would want to ban them. Of the 50 that have been banned I have read: (Not that you care, but I would like to see myself) 

My checkbook was once banned from several local retailers, thhanks to incompitance by the lousy money-grubbing eunuchs at Aetna Bank —  Freezer Burn

Harry Potter... oh wait... that's only in my dreams...  —  WitKnee

[shade’s peshar: WitKnee’s dreams came true: http://www.mugglesforharrypotter.org/zeeland.htm]

Sex, by: Madona  —  Senzai

Heather Has Two Mommies  —  Dyna Charcoal

Harry Potter.  —  Flamedyomom

yellow pages  —  Snooples 

something about a gay guy. or maybe something where the character might have implied that he knew someone that thought it was ok to be gay - people don't like that.  but i know huck finn was. can't encourage delinquency in schools.  —  Velfire

Huck Finn — Taotejay

 
2. How many canary cages can you line with one copy of... oh, I used that. Okay, why does Ayn Rand SUCK so much? [50 words max]

Answer:  pretensions pseudo-intellectual psycho-babble that uses dry, awkwardly structured prose as an Edsel-like vehicle to get her point across.

Best Answers:

Ann Rand was a dyke....it goes with the teritory.  —  Sisbooomba

To respond to that question would only help validate Ayn Rand's position in the world of literature.  —  Burning Bush

Who's that?  —  LadyDie

~ because her philosophy is full of shit!  —  Cinder

"The government acts only as a policeman that protects man's rights; it uses physical force only in retaliation and only against those who initiate its use, such as criminals and foreign invaders. In a system of full capitalism, there should be (but historically has not yet been) a complete separation of state and economics, in the same way and for the same reasons as the separation of state and church." YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!..Need I say more??  —  Wolfire

I think that the problem with Ayn Rand is that she doesn't suck and thats why she sucks  —  Hastur

Couldn't tell you; never read Rand.  Sorry, but i don;t read books that suck.  —  Freezer Burn

Obviously because Ayn Rand is neither Frank Zappa or Richard O'Brien...duh...  —  WitKnee

I told you!  It is simply a psycho-symatic symptom of no titty love.  —  Senzai

Uh, she's been published? A little jealousy wagging its ugly head here? Hmmmmm?  —  Dyna Charcoal

How does she suck, allow me to count the ways her existence puts me in a bad mood uh..yeah..that woulda beena sonnet but dad's kickingh me offline  —  Flamedyomom

cause  —  Snooples 

see sluggy freelance. she posses a ferret but her ghost can't exist and possess anything. stupid ghost.  —  Velfire

Because she blows! (Get it?! Ha Ha Ha!!) — Taotejay

3. write a chiasmus

Answer:  chiasmus: a reversal in the order of words in two otherwise parallel sentences.  examples: “you can take a man out of the marines, but not the marines out of the man” or “a woman wants one man to satisfy her every need, a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.”  There is even a website devoted to them: www.chiasmus.com/

Best answers:

Gadsuntite!  —  Sisbooomba

the fat lady sang (to) sang the fat lady  —  LadyDie

~ humm, Ok you will like this one. One should eat to live not to live to eat.  —  Cinder

Children in the dark cause Accidents. Accidents in the dark cause children  —  Wolfire

While searching and looking at what it meant, I found many. I could have stolen one.. but instead went to choose a quote and write my own. Here is what I have written: 

Ok so it sucks.. but atleast I didn't rip any off!  —  Hastur

Live to rock, rock to live.  (more flax slipping away, reminding you of your Dokken fetish.)  —  Freezer Burn

Oh yeh cometh and drink this breast milk,
For thy father has not forsaken it,
It shall nurish and protect thy bones,
Your bones shall grow strong and safe,
Privilaged are thee by thy father,
Thou shalt swallow the spackle from this titty.  —  Senzai

"A chiasmus" There. That wasn't so hard.  —  Dyna Charcoal

a chiasmus  —  Flamedyomom

i chian't  —  Snooples 

its like a chasm, but crossed with an isthmus.  —  Velfire

You can fool a bee or be a fool. — Taotejay

bonus:

what is your name?
what is your quest?
what is your favorite color?
what is the capital of Assyria?

Answer:  subjective, depending on the person answering, except for the capital of Assyria part: Ninevah.  Confused quizzers are referred to Monty Python & the Holy Grail.  

Best Answers:

Diane
to one day be able to belch the Greek alphabet backwards
pine
nineveh — LadyDie

~ "cindy", "cinny","mzcinny", "cinnykins", "cinder", "sindy", "cin", "sin", "cindelicious".. hahahaha want me to go on? naw i wont bore ya.. hehehe
~ Knowledge, Adventure, turth, different experiences, hehe guess that goes with Adventure, Happness, greatfullness.
~ pink
~ Northern Iraq "Ninevah" is the historic capital. is in present day Iraq. — Cinder

My name is 'Sir Launcelot of Camelot'
To seek the Holy Grail
Blue
I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!  —  Wolfire

[shade’s peshar:  Technically, Ashur was the city/state that eventually became Assyria. “About 1813 BCE, Shamshi-Adi I, an Amorite prince from the middle Euphrates, took possession of Ashur and subsequently founded an empire with its capital at Shabut-Enlil (modern Tell Leilan in Northern Syria)...” [The Oxford Companion to The Bible, p.63 (entry for “Assyria”).] Interestingly, the word “Ashur” was incorporated into the names of many subsequent Assyrian kings, most notably Ashurbanipal, who built the city of Ninevah and moved the capital to there at the beginning of the height of the Assyrian empire.

I amArthur, King of the Brittons
To seek the Holy Grail
Blue
What do you mean?  African Assyria, or European Assyria?  —  Freezer Burn
 
I am Sir Morbert Latifa "the Sasquatch" Wilkens the Third
I seek the Groly Hail
The color of dark Jade. You know, that lovely murky green, not so imperious as emerald, but elegant all the same.
In order to say it, I'd have to cut out your tongue...  —  WitKnee

Sen
I seek the Holy Titty
The color of fresh warm titty milk
I don't know tha—AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!  —  Senzai

Sir Penny
I seek the Grail
Yellow.
I don't know...aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.  —  Dyna Charcoal

Andrew
to seek the holy grail
blue... no, pink! AAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!
(doesn't matter if i know the answer, i can't answer anyway, i'm dead)  —  Velfire

Sir Robin of Camelot
To seek the holy grail, so long as it isn't guarded by anything
Brown (I soiled my armor I was so scared)
I don't know that...AAAARRGH (not to be confused with the Legendary Black Beast of AAARGH) — Taotejay

<bonus/inside joke for Sisbooomba: what do you like on your cheezeburgers?>

Answer:  irrelevant.  Many moons ago, Sisbooomba and Evil Matt were playing Dungeons and Dragons; he was the DM.  She approached a door that had an animated face as the knob.  The door began asking her questions (“what is your name, what is your quest, what is your favorite color, what do you like on your cheezeburgers...”)  By that last one, she correctly figured out that the door would keep asking questions, and could be opened safely no matter what.

Sisbooomba’s answer:  Cheeze is not an option on my cheezeburgers.....neither is the beef, but the bun is negotiable.  —  Sisbooomba

Other answers (from people who couldn’t grasp the “Sisbooomba only” stipulation):

an absence of beef or other animal dervatives, extra lettuce, extra tomatoes, red onions, sunflower sprouts, one pickle slice, and honey dijon.  —  LadyDie

Ewww.. don't mention cheezeburgers to me right now.  —  Hastur

You guessed it: TITTY MILK CHEEZE!!!  —  Senzai

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