Garbage Dump
(and its Schlappafied variants)

 

 

 

 

First off, If you’re looking for an explanation of just what the hell “schlopperhosen” (or the preferred variant, “schlappapants”) are, the fact that you’re even asking automatically means you’re outside of the cool loop on this one, so no explanation would ever suffice anyway.

That said, let’s discuss “Garbage Dump.”

 

It is not common knowledge, but Charles Manson actually recorded an album of music before the murders that made him the most infamous man in America.  The album was given to producer Terry Melcher as a demo, who promptly rejected it.

Since it was at Terry Melcher’s house that the first of the murders took place (Sharon Tate was renting it,) many people see Melcher as having been the real target, and Tate & company were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Whatever the case, the demo tape became a thing of curiosity and legend, and copies of it circulate among the underground to this day.  It is unknown what Manson had intended to call it, but it has become known as “Lie”.  The singing and acoustic guitar playing are undoubtedly by Charlie himself; the other instruments and backing vocals are almost certainly other Family members (especially noticeable on the female a capella harmony “I’ll never say never to always”.)  There is a long-standing rumor that Beach Boys drummer Dennis Wilson either produced or engineered the album.  Although Wilson unquestionably had contact with Manson for a brief stint and was the person who steered him to Melcher, it is unknown how much he was actually involved in the recording of the “Lie” demo.

Lie experienced a minor revival in the early 1990s when Guns & Roses did a cover of its opening track, “Look at your game girl” on “The Spaghetti Incident” EP.

The album (Lie) is largely acoustic rock that is a bizarre mixture of folk, country, and pre-acid ’60s rock.  However, several tracks are almost structured noise drones (complete with sitars, violins, and possibly a didgeridoo) that have a trance-out factor of 9.5 to them; just put some back-masking on them, and it would be easy to see how listeners would subliminally programmed by it to do whatever Charlie told them to do.

The album, of course, is terrible, and it is easy to see why Terry Melcher rejected it.

However, it’s one of those rare gems that is so bad it’s good.

 

Personally, I think the nug on this album is the song “Garbage Dump.”

 

 

  play “Garbage Dump”  (2.06 Mb)

 

 

The Schlappa Variants

(sung to the tune of “Garbage Dump” of course)
as interpreted by Grimace Reaper

 

 

 

Schlappapants

 

Oh, schlappapants, oh schlappapants,
Why are you wearing schlappapants?
Oh schlappapants, oh schlappapaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaants,
Why are you wearing schlappapants?

You can fit the world in her schlappapants,
You can fit the world in her schlappapants,
You can fit the world in her schlappapaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaants,
Staring at them puts you in a trance!

If you’re walking down the road,
And you think you’re belly’s flopping,
No need to go on a diet my friend,
Just get in them pants and start schlapping!

Oh, schlappapants, oh schlappapants,
Why are you wearing schlappapants?
Oh schlappapants, oh schlappapaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaants,
Let’s all do the Schlappadance
(hula-hula, schlappa-schlappa, hula-hula, schlappa-schlappa,
IIIII-yiiii-yiiiii, I’m hooked on the schlappa!)

There’s some schlappapants behind the A&P,
I don’t care if they don’t fit me,
Don’t even care if they ain’t in style no more,
I’ll be in them pants behind my favorite store!

Oh, schlappapants, oh schlappapants,
Why are you wearing schlappapants?
Oh schlappapants, oh schlappapaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaants,
You’d wear ’em too, if you had the chance!

I claim all these schlappapants in the name of:
The schlappawearers of America....

 

Schlappatruck

 

Oh, schlappatruck, oh schlappatruck,
Why are you driving a schlappatruck?
Oh schlappatruck, oh schlappatruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck,
I’ll bet you bought it for a buck!

You can drive the world in Q’s schlappatruck,
You can drive the world in Q’s schlappatruck,
You can drive the world in Q’s schlappatruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck,
The driver’s fatter than Friar Tuck!

If you’re driving down the road,
And you hear your wheels a-poppin’
No need to get the spare tire, my friend,
Just get in them pants and start schlopping!

Oh, schlappatruck, oh schlappatruck,
Why are you driving a schlappatruck?
Oh schlappatruck, oh schlappatruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck,
Q’ll give you a ride, with any luck!

There’s a schlappatruck behind the A&P,
It’s the source of much misery,
But I don’t care if it schlapps no more,
I’ll be in the cab just a-scratchin’ hardcore!

Oh, schlappatruck, oh schlappatruck,
Why are you driving a schlappatruck?
Oh schlappatruck, oh schlappatruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck,
That grinding you hear means your gears are stuck!

I claim all these schlappatrucks in the name of:
The schlappadrivers of America....